There she was: Iying completely helpless in bed, unable to move any part of her body except her eyes and eyelids and her hand, which she could raise to her chest from time to time. Disease had drained her vitality. Her flesh had withered away, leaving her skin wan, bluish, almost lacerated by bones protruding at the joints. She stared blankly at nothing or kept her eyes closed. At the best of times, her vision was confined within the walls of her room.
- 'Uyun called in a feeble voice, thin as a child's:
- "'Adliyah!"
But 'Adliyah did not hear her. She would pretend that she did not hear her. 'Adliyah's excuse would be that her voice was faint or that the kitchen was too far away or that the stove was hissing. 'Uyun could not call any louder nor could she give up making her modest requests. She cried out again:
- "'Adliyah!"
'Uyun would as usual feel too intimidated to blame her. She was at 'Adliyah's mercy, completely at her mercy. She would go to any length to appease 'Adliyah. She provided her with excellent wages, clothing and food. It was 'Adliyah who ran the household. She had become its real mistress. What could 'Uyun do about it? If 'Adliyah decided someday to leave her service, 'Uyun would sink into ruinous solitude and death. She tried not to impose on her any more than was really necessary. But what could she do? The demands of life would go on unceasingly till her last breath.
She gathered her flagging strength and called out for the third time:
- " 'Adliyah! "
Anger swelled in 'Uyun's bony breast, but she did not surrender to its tumult. 'Adliyah was, in any case, overburdened with work. She swept, cooked and shopped.She took the place of 'Uyun's own two hands and feet and all her senses. She meant everything to 'Uyun: She fed her and helped her drink, she washed her, she propped her up and put her to bed, and she eased her discomfort by turning her from one side to the other.
She raised her complaining, moaning voice a little:
- "'Adliyah!"
She heard the sound of heavy footsteps, then 'Adliyah appeared at the door of the room, her stolid face permanently imprinted with grievance. She asked in a rather harsh voice:
- "You called me, mistress?"
- "I've called myself hoarse, 'Adliyah."
She approached the bed and 'Uyun asked:
- "A cigarette, 'Adliyah."
'Adliyah plucked a cigarette from the pack on the bedside table, lit it and placed it between the lips of her mistress, saying:
- "You know that smoking is bad for your health."
Then she left the room.
If someday 'Adliyah lost patience with her, 'Uyun would be condemned to death. She could not rely on anyone else. Her nephews and nieces did not care for her, their Auntie 'Uyun. She lay abandoned and forgotten, clinging to the last remnants of life in fear and despair and audibly wishing for death. The death of her only son in a bloody demonstration had ravaged her heart even before disease had damaged it. It was ironic that politics had devoured her sole offspring. She herself understood nothing about politics and was not stirred by it in the least. The boy's father, too, had died just one year after their son's martyrdom . And now the memories of her grief had fused with the groans of her illness and the specter of forlornness.
Buthaynah, her late sister's daughter, had visited her during the 'id festival. She was the principal of an elementary school and the only one who remembered 'Uyun on festive occasions. She brought her a bouquet of flowers and a box of sweets. Buthaynah sat on a chair near her bed. 'Uyun's eyes teared as she said:
- "Thank you, Buthaynah. How are you? How is everybody? How I yearn to see you all, but no one asks about me!"
Buthaynah apologized with a smile and said:
- "The world is full of preoccupations, Auntie."
- "I don't have anyone except you people. Even the dead have someone to remember them."
- "You often cross my mind, Auntie, but the world is full of preoccupations."
- "They have utterly forgotten me, Buthaynah. "
Buthaynah took refuge in silence. 'Uyun said:
- "I'm their aunt, the only one still surviving. If 'Adliyah deserted me, I'd starve in my bed."
She heard a deep, tormented sigh and continued:
- "We - your mother, your aunt and I - were happy sisters. We had happy days."
- "God have mercy on both of them!"
- "I was the youngest. Nothing was ever too good for me!"
- " May God restore your health, Auntie! "
- "That prayer won't be answered, Buthaynah. I'm alone, forsaken. I've empowered one of the neighbors to collect my pension for me."
She dried a tear with her gaunt, bluish hand and said:
- "I'm afraid, Buthaynah. I've a thousand worries about the day 'Adliyah leaves me."
- " It would be impossible for her to find a house like yours, Auntie. "
- "Serving me is demanding and unpleasant, so I'm ridden with anxiety."
- "The fact is, she controls your house and your purse, so how could she desert you?"
- "Still, I'm anxious, always anxious. I'm never without suspicions. I'm as much afraid of her as I am of her quitting."
Buthaynah fell silent, either because she did not have anything to say, or because she had grown tired of repeating the well-worn phrases. Uyun said:
- "I'm sorry,, Buthaynah. My stock of good talk has run out, and it isn't right that I should go on bothering the only human being who has remained faithful to me."
She changed her tone. She stopped complaining and asked impartially, or perhaps in commiseration:
- "Tell me now, how is it between you and your husband?"
Buthaynah sighed and replied laconically:
- "So-so.""
- " How can this happen when you're unparalleled among young women?"
Then 'Uyun added with a wan smile on her dry, painful lips:
- "You're beautiful, Buthaynah! It's been said that you're more like me, your aunt, when I was your age than like anyone else in the family."
Buthaynah nodded her head in agreement and she, too, smiled.
- "When I walked in the street or looked out of a window, all eyes devoured me lasciviously!"
Buthaynah laughed and looked at 'Uyun compassionately.
- "You say that your relations with your husband are middling. When will he realize the bounty that God has blessed him with?"
- "That is the way of the world, Auntie."
- "A cursed world, Buthaynah."
- " It can 't be trusted, Auntie. "
'Adliyah appeared with the lunch tray. She propped 'Uyun up against a pillow, then began to feed her.
Wanting to curry, favor with her, 'Uyun said:
- "Your cooking is delicious, 'Adliyah."
'Adliyah gave her neither a smile nor thanks, as if she had not heard: Praise from the weak dissipates without effect.
- "What's wrong, 'Adliyah?"
She answered somewhat harshly:
- "I'm thinking of my daughter."
- "May God make her happy, 'Adliyah!"
- "She's miserable with her man."
- "Whatever he does, he wouldn't neglect the mother of his seven children."
- "You don't know him, mistress."
- "You should always try, to make her see reason, and ask her to be patient."
- "What's to be done if he divorces her?"
Indeed, what's to be done? What was to be done if 'Adliyah brought along her daughter and her brood to the house? 'Uyun could not object even if she wanted to. She was completely at 'Adliyah's mercy. The house would become too small for them and would turn into a bazaar. How could she put up with their noise and naughtiness? How could she afford to feed and clothe them?
This is a new threat to you, 'Uyun. Wasn't it Shaykh Taha who congratulated you, 'Uyun, on your wedding night with "May honor precede you, and good fortune serve you!"? Why was your mother proud of you to the point of infatuation? Fortune started you off with a truly happy marriage. You had wed a judge of noble origins. He had seen you one day in a box at the Cosmograph Cinema. You were a pampered wife and a happy mother. Your husband used to strut to the opera with your arm in his, crowing over your beauty. Once a fight nearly broke out because a pasha had flirted with you. Yet your entire chronicle has finally come to this wretched bed, where you are at the mercy of this callous, miserable woman who withholds even a smile.
The doorbell rang. 'Uyun's eyes fluttered in anticipation. Was it a new visitor?
- "Who is it, 'Adliyah?"
- "The plumber, mistress."
The plumber again, always the plumber. He has come to fix the kitchen faucet or the bathroom, or perhaps the pipe or the drain. To avoid the terrible consequences, she dares not question 'Adliyah at all, let alone interrogate her. The plumber would come a second, third and fourth time, whenever it pleased him to come, or whenever the sow invited him!
'Adliyah closed the door of her room so that 'Uyun would not catch sight of him! ' Uyun
had long been troubled by suspicion, but what could she do? Things happened this way in her small dwelling, outside her closed door - the door that would be closed without her permission or even against her will, all in the name of protecting her. She was powerless and helpless. If the man coveted more than what he held in his arms, if he thought that she was an obstacle in his path, if any satanic whim crossed his mind, who could protect her from harm? She listened attentively, utterly upset, her blood boiling. There was no doubt that her late son had had the same feeling of impotence when he was faced with the situation that had cut him down in his prime. But she was half dead and bedridden.
'Adliyah opened the door, saying:
- "He's left."
Hadn't he taken longer than was reasonable? Without mentioning this, 'Uyun asked her:
- "What did he do?"
- "The sink pipe."
She kept hertemper under control, and said:
- "But the sink pipe . . . "
'Adliyah interrupted her sharply:
- "It's very, old and has to be fixed constantly. "
It would always need repairs. Even if it was replaced by a new pipe, there would always be something requiring the plumber's presence, week after week. So let him come whenever he pleased - or whenever 'Adliyah pleased. In any case, she had to accept this situation because 'Adliyah served as her eyes, feet and all her senses. 'Adliyah's missionin this house was not a comfortable, easy or happy one. Besides all this, misery, would go on taking its toll, and 'Uyun would remain in the grip of insomnia.
Then one day, a stranger knocked at the door, and 'Adliyah said to her mistress:
" Mistress, a blind man who claims that you 've known him in olden . . . "
Before she could add another word, the stranger's voice was heard shouting outside:
"Shaykh Taha al-Sharif, Madame 'Uyun."
That voice. That name. She summoned her moribund memory for help. Her heart fluttered. Then memories flooded from her heart's quivering heart like a breath of perfumed breeze. Exultation suffused her.
"Come over here, Shaykh Taha. 'Adliyah, lead him by the hand. "
He was led to 'Uyun, feeling his way with the end of his cane. His turban had slid back, revealing a noble forehead. His eyes were sunk deep in their sockets. His back was bent with age. His faded, frayed cloak wrapped an emaciated body. After he was seated, 'Uyun said to him:
"Here's my outstretched hand, Shaykh Taha, but don't clasp it strongly; it's frail."
He shook hands with her gently and tenderly, saying:
"A speedy recovery, Madame 'Uyun!"
"Thank God for your safe return, Shaykh Taha! When did I see you last?"
He swayed his head right and left and said:
"What a long time it's been!"
"Those were beautiful days, Shaykh Taha."
"May God make all your days beautiful!"
"But how? I'm bedridden, all alone, Shaykh Taha."
He pointed upward and murmured:
"He's Merciful."
"How did you find where I live?"
"I came across Uncle Adam, the doorman at the old house."
She gazed with dull eyes at the furrows of his old face while he sat on the chair like a monument to poverty. How strong and stout he had been when he was the professional Qur'an-reciter at the old house! He would visit them every, morning to drink coffee, read something from the Qur'an and give his spiritual opinion on religious issues raised by her mother. It was he who had said to her on her wedding night, "May honor precede you, and good fortune serve you!" From the deep recesses of the past flowed an affectionate, intimate feeling mixed with nostalgia and tears.
He slipped off his worn-out shoes, then sat cross-legged on the chair and started reciting from the Qur'an:
By the bright forenoon
And by the night when it is still and dark!
Thy Lord has neither forsaken thee nor hates thee....
After he had sipped his coffee down and they were alone in the room, she said:
"I am alone, Shaykh Taha."
He replied, as though in protest:
"But God is there, Madame 'Uyun."
"I'm always anxious and afraid."
"God is there, Madame 'Uyun."
"I wish you could visit me as often as possible."
"That is my fondest wish."
"How are your affairs, Shaykh Taha?"
"It's God's will that recorded recitations on the radio drive us out of business, but God will not forget His servant. What matters is that you should not give in to sorrow or despair."
"It's anxiety. I've no one except 'Adliyah. If she abandons me . . ."
"God will not abandon you."
"But I'm alone in every, sense of the word."
He waved his hand sorrowfully and exclaimed:
"What a pity!"
"Am I wrong, Shaykh Taha?"
"Certainly not! But you don't have faith."
"But I do have faith. I lost my son and husband in two successive years, but I do still have faith."
"You don't have faith, Madame 'Uyun."
She was displeased and fell silent. He continued:
"Don't be angry. Not fear, nor anxiety,nor despair can find their way to the heart of one who has real faith."
"I have faith, but I'm bedridden and at the mercy of 'Adliyah."
"Those with faith are at their Lord's mercy only and not anyone else's."
"How easy it is to preach, but how difficult to practice!"
He moved his head right and left and proclaimed in a voice insinuating triumph:
"Indeed, how easy it is to preach, but how difficult to practice!"
"I can no longer understand anything."
"Allow me to visit you every, day."
"Do that, in God's name!"
"But without faith, you won't find an old, blind man like me of any use."
She hesitated a little, then spoke apprehensively:
"I'm afraid she may become annoyed with you - 'Adliyah, I mean."
"Still, I'll keep coming."
"But if. . . But if. . . Let's suppose. . ." "Believe me, I'll visit you every, day. If she doesn't like it, she can beat her head against the wall! "
'Uyun muttered in alarm:
"Lower your voice, Shaykh Taha!We must not make her angry."
"Madame 'Uyun, forget that you're at her mercy. You're at God's mercy only."
"True, true. All of us are at God's mercy only. But consider what will happen if she gets angry, with me."
"Nothing will ever happen to you unless God has prescribed it."
"That is the truth, Shaykh Taha, but for God's sake imagine my loneliness if she deserts me."
"She won't desert you, Madame 'Uyun, because she depends on you far more than you depend on her! "
"I'm infirm, whereas she's strong and can work in any house."
"She can work anywhere, but merely as a maid, while here she's the mistress of the house!"
"What you say sounds good and makes sense, but the bitter reality is that I'm totally infirm."
He struck the floor with his thick staff and said:
"Half of your infirmity stems from your total dependence on her!"
"But my illness is a reality, confirmed by doctors."
"I believe neither in disease nor in physicians. Still, I'll go along with you for the time being. Madame 'Uyun, should she forsake you as you imagine, I'll bring you my eldest daughter, who is divorced. "
A momentary, light flashed in her clouded eyes, and she asked eagerly:
"Really?"
"I'll do without her for your sake."
She was ashamed, and replied:
"But you can't live all by yourself!"
He laughed for the first time and said:
"An old, blind man living by himself! Before her divorce, I often lived by myself!"
"I don't want to impose on you."
"You're imposing on yourself only. May God help you!"
There was a long silence, a silence replete with tranquility and peace. Her then cleared his throat and began to recite from the Qur'an:
Blessed be He in whose hand is all dominion
- He is powerful overall things
Who has created death and life that He might test
Which of you is best in works....
It was time for him to go. He shook her hand tenderly, said goodbye to her and left.
'Uyun felt a delight she had not experienced for a long time. She called 'Adliyah and said to her:
" 'Adliyah, whenever Shaykh Taha comes, receive him gently and graciously."
'Adliyah frowned and said resentfully:
"But, Madame, he's a filthy man!"
"He was the Qur'an-reciter at our old house; I 've inherited his friendship from my father and mother. "
"Madame, I saw a louse on his forehead."
Furious, 'Uyun replied:
" I couldn't care less about that. He's a blessed man. "
The woman said in a threatening tone:
"But I've enough troubles."
'Uyun said importunately:
"Bear with me, for God's sake! This is my wish and I expect you to respect it."
"I said that I saw. . ."
'Uyun interrupted her resolutely:
"He's a blessed man. You must fulfill my wish."
'Adliyah's face turned sullen. She was about to speak, but 'Uyun's persistence cut her off:
"You ought to do my bidding without argument!"
'Adliyah's face resumed its normal appearance of surprise or bewilderment. She cast a disturbed, curious glance at 'Uyun. They glared at each other, but 'Uyun was not frightened by 'Adliyah's penetrating gaze; she found herself determined to match her stare or challenge her in return. 'Uyun ignored her own infirmity and fears and kept up her defiance; she shivered in her innermost being with the fever of victory. It seemed to her that she was becoming giant-like.
'Adliyah stared intently for a long time, then lowered her gaze. She left the room, muttering incomprehensibly. But 'Uyun did not leave it there. She was determined to be fully satisfied and more confident; she called her again. 'Adliyah returned, saying with displeasure and annoyance:
"I've got something on the stove."
'Uyun asked her persistently, defiantly:
"Tell me what you'll do when Shaykh Taha comes. "
The woman cast a sharp, inquisitive glance at her, then asked:
"Who's Shaykh Taha?"
'Uyun was seized by anger and exclaimed:
"You're joking with me, 'Adliyah!"
"Why are you angry, ? I'm asking you, who is Shaykh Taha?"
"Don't you know who Shaykh Taha is?"
"I've never heard his name before."
'Uyun replied firmly, resolved to wage a bitter struggle:
"Didn't you see the cleric-shaykh who was sitting beside me just minutes ago? Didn't you yourself offer him coffee?"
The woman stared at her face with suspicion and concern and said:
"No one has entered our house today - neither a cleric-shaykh nor a lay gentleman. What are you talking about?"
'Uyun shouted back in rage:
"What am I talking about? It's amazing! You've become so impudent that . . ."
"You frighten me. Who's Shaykh Taha?"
"Are you insane or are you trying to drive me insane?"
Her anxiety rising, 'Adliyah replied:
"I swear by God, by the life of my daughter, I've never seen Shaykh Taha or heard of him."
'Uyun raised her voice as she had not done in years, and shouted:
"You even swear! You're plotting against my sanity. You would have me believe that I see things that do not exist, that I'm mad. Is that your aim? Is this your latest plan, to block the path to my only friend?"
'Adliyah's eyes were wide open with fright. Her arrogance tumbled down, razed. She shrieked in a quavering voice:
"You must be out of your mind, Madame!"
"Shut up! I'm not afraid of you. I'm not at your mercy. He'll visit me every, day. This is my wish and you'll fulfill it without discussion. Beware, don't stand in his way! I'll cut off your livelihood!"
'Adliyah's face paled and her eyes bulged. She spoke humbly:
" Don't exhaust yourself . Let your mind be at peace. I 'll fulfill your wish most willingly."
But 'Uyun screamed at her:
"Liar! Criminal! Thief! Adultress! For years, I've put up with you need lessly. I don't need your drab face. Without me, you aren't worth a damn. I don't need you. Go to hell! To sixty hells! God's bountiful blessings have spoiled you. You weren't satisfied with owning everything in my house, so you worked day and night to humiliate me, to frighten and torment me. You're fired! Don't show your face after today. Go to hell! To one thousand million hells!"
'Adliyah took a few steps backwards. Terror gripped her till it convulsed the roots of her mind. She turned her back, looking around, and rushed out like a wild wind, screaming at the top of her voice.
Translator's note
|
There she was: Iying completely helpless in bed, unable to move any part of her body except her eyes and eyelids and her hand, which she could raise to her chest from time to time. Disease had drained her vitality. Her flesh had withered away, leaving her skin wan, bluish, almost lacerated by bones protruding at the joints. She stared blankly at nothing or kept her eyes closed. At the best of times, her vision was confined within the walls of her room.
If someday 'Adliyah lost patience with her, 'Uyun would be condemned to death. She could not rely on anyone else. Her nephews and nieces did not care for her, their Auntie 'Uyun. She lay abandoned and forgotten, clinging to the last remnants of life in fear and despair and audibly wishing for death. The death of her only son in a bloody demonstration had ravaged her heart even before disease had damaged it. It was ironic that politics had devoured her sole offspring. She herself understood nothing about politics and was not stirred by it in the least. The boy's father, too, had died just one year after their son's martyrdom . And now the memories of her grief had fused with the groans of her illness and the specter of forlornness.
Indeed, what's to be done? What was to be done if 'Adliyah brought along her daughter and her brood to the house? 'Uyun could not object even if she wanted to. She was completely at 'Adliyah's mercy. The house would become too small for them and would turn into a bazaar. How could she put up with their noise and naughtiness? How could she afford to feed and clothe them?
He moved his head right and left and proclaimed in a voice insinuating triumph:
'Uyun raised her voice as she had not done in years, and shouted: